[ the silence gets a soft noise; understanding, perhaps.
it’s quiet for a little longer, the peaceful silence of fishing only broken by the sound of the waves, and it seems like xie lian might not speak, but. ]
…. I am already immortal. [ at such a young age. ] And I have seen a true hellscape, so: I think perhaps your words are true. Even so, I don’t regret it.
[ his voice is heavy with sorrow, for a moment, a solemnness that doesn't quite fit his graceful, youthful image - though for a moment, xie lian does truly look his age. he's just a baby immortal! ]
[ his mouth twitches a little, but, xie lian takes another long moment before he answers, as if gathering his thoughts. ]
...Because, I can go through hell over and over. After what I've seen, now - I don't want it to happen to anyone else. Maybe I can't prevent all of it, but maybe I can use my experience to intervene.
And - maybe I can't, either, and maybe I can't prevent things from getting worse. [ for a moment, an old memory surfaces in the back of his mind, the voice of his old teacher. of another person entirely, behind a half smiling, half crying mask. you're going to lose, xian le!
... ] But that doesn't mean that I don't want to try. That I have to try. If not me, then who will?
[ oh - he huffs a little, almost a laugh? and ducks his head. ]
That's true. I don't need any excuses - I have simply made up my mind.
[ the amusement stays, even after that very shonen protagonist moment, there, and xie lian glances over at joonghyuk. ] ...you reminded me a bit of my former tutor, for a moment there. [ guoshi... ] Ah, what a sense of deja vu.
That's what he would say, too... [ his poor stressed guoshi ] He was very wise, maybe moreso than I ever was ready to listen to, even a few years ago. I know that, now.
[ ha ha... he sounds fond, though. ] Guoshi always had a lecture for me about something or other, every day, relevant or not. From bowing to the gods to sword techniques, to even how I wore my earrings in a parade costume...
I see! She must have been an incredible teacher, even still. Perhaps sometimes we could spar? I would like that. [ xie lian, known martial arts nerd.
anyway, ] Guoshi was...almost completely the opposite. Unendingly patient, and rare to share any details about himself, though... I suppose I didn't ask much. [ hm. ] I grew up under his tutelage, though. He had cultivated to immortality, as well.
[ a pause. ] Though, I only ever saw him become terribly impatient was when he would sneak off to play card games. Mostly because it seems he was terribly bad at them...?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[ Yes. ]
Because eternity is a hell scape.
no subject
xie lian quiets for a moment, looking at his bobbling line in the water; his expressions pulls into a wan smile. ]
Are you saying so from experience?
no subject
Xie Lan can interpret that however he wants. ]
no subject
it’s quiet for a little longer, the peaceful silence of fishing only broken by the sound of the waves, and it seems like xie lian might not speak, but. ]
…. I am already immortal. [ at such a young age. ] And I have seen a true hellscape, so: I think perhaps your words are true. Even so, I don’t regret it.
no subject
For how long?
no subject
[ not that long, but. ]
…I know it does not sound like much, but to say a hellscape is an understatement.
no subject
[ Quality not quantity, but yeah. ]
It's also a about a quarter of your time alive. There will be worse. There will always be.
no subject
[ his voice is heavy with sorrow, for a moment, a solemnness that doesn't quite fit his graceful, youthful image - though for a moment, xie lian does truly look his age. he's just a baby immortal! ]
Though, I don't doubt you.
no subject
[ As long as the possibility is there, it will come eventually? But this is probably depressing. Eh. There are no fish biting for now. ]
Why?
no subject
Why don't I doubt you? Or why I don't regret it?
no subject
[ He says this like it's obvious. ]
Whether you doubt me or not doesn't matter to me.
no subject
...Because, I can go through hell over and over. After what I've seen, now - I don't want it to happen to anyone else. Maybe I can't prevent all of it, but maybe I can use my experience to intervene.
And - maybe I can't, either, and maybe I can't prevent things from getting worse. [ for a moment, an old memory surfaces in the back of his mind, the voice of his old teacher. of another person entirely, behind a half smiling, half crying mask. you're going to lose, xian le!
... ] But that doesn't mean that I don't want to try. That I have to try. If not me, then who will?
no subject
Insinuating that no one will to justify your actions is an unnecessary excuse. You've already made your choice for your reasons.
[ They aren't detailed reasons, but Joonghyuk gets it. There's no accusation or scolding in his tone. ]
no subject
That's true. I don't need any excuses - I have simply made up my mind.
[ the amusement stays, even after that very shonen protagonist moment, there, and xie lian glances over at joonghyuk. ] ...you reminded me a bit of my former tutor, for a moment there. [ guoshi... ] Ah, what a sense of deja vu.
no subject
[ shut up joonghyuk ]
no subject
That's what he would say, too... [ his poor stressed guoshi ] He was very wise, maybe moreso than I ever was ready to listen to, even a few years ago. I know that, now.
no subject
[ HMPH. ]
no subject
[ ha ha... he sounds fond, though. ] Guoshi always had a lecture for me about something or other, every day, relevant or not. From bowing to the gods to sword techniques, to even how I wore my earrings in a parade costume...
no subject
[ Which implies something about his own. ]
no subject
And yours wasn't? That is hard to imagine! What was yours like...? Was it a master for the martial arts, or for moreso than that...?
no subject
[ Says the man is short-tempered. ]
no subject
I see! She must have been an incredible teacher, even still. Perhaps sometimes we could spar? I would like that. [ xie lian, known martial arts nerd.
anyway, ] Guoshi was...almost completely the opposite. Unendingly patient, and rare to share any details about himself, though... I suppose I didn't ask much. [ hm. ] I grew up under his tutelage, though. He had cultivated to immortality, as well.
[ a pause. ] Though, I only ever saw him become terribly impatient was when he would sneak off to play card games. Mostly because it seems he was terribly bad at them...?
no subject
[ SUCKS TO SUCK -yoo joonghyuk. His wolf huffs. ]
In the end, what matters is that they can teach well.