[ his mouth twitches a little, but, xie lian takes another long moment before he answers, as if gathering his thoughts. ]
...Because, I can go through hell over and over. After what I've seen, now - I don't want it to happen to anyone else. Maybe I can't prevent all of it, but maybe I can use my experience to intervene.
And - maybe I can't, either, and maybe I can't prevent things from getting worse. [ for a moment, an old memory surfaces in the back of his mind, the voice of his old teacher. of another person entirely, behind a half smiling, half crying mask. you're going to lose, xian le!
... ] But that doesn't mean that I don't want to try. That I have to try. If not me, then who will?
[ oh - he huffs a little, almost a laugh? and ducks his head. ]
That's true. I don't need any excuses - I have simply made up my mind.
[ the amusement stays, even after that very shonen protagonist moment, there, and xie lian glances over at joonghyuk. ] ...you reminded me a bit of my former tutor, for a moment there. [ guoshi... ] Ah, what a sense of deja vu.
That's what he would say, too... [ his poor stressed guoshi ] He was very wise, maybe moreso than I ever was ready to listen to, even a few years ago. I know that, now.
[ ha ha... he sounds fond, though. ] Guoshi always had a lecture for me about something or other, every day, relevant or not. From bowing to the gods to sword techniques, to even how I wore my earrings in a parade costume...
I see! She must have been an incredible teacher, even still. Perhaps sometimes we could spar? I would like that. [ xie lian, known martial arts nerd.
anyway, ] Guoshi was...almost completely the opposite. Unendingly patient, and rare to share any details about himself, though... I suppose I didn't ask much. [ hm. ] I grew up under his tutelage, though. He had cultivated to immortality, as well.
[ a pause. ] Though, I only ever saw him become terribly impatient was when he would sneak off to play card games. Mostly because it seems he was terribly bad at them...?
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...Because, I can go through hell over and over. After what I've seen, now - I don't want it to happen to anyone else. Maybe I can't prevent all of it, but maybe I can use my experience to intervene.
And - maybe I can't, either, and maybe I can't prevent things from getting worse. [ for a moment, an old memory surfaces in the back of his mind, the voice of his old teacher. of another person entirely, behind a half smiling, half crying mask. you're going to lose, xian le!
... ] But that doesn't mean that I don't want to try. That I have to try. If not me, then who will?
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Insinuating that no one will to justify your actions is an unnecessary excuse. You've already made your choice for your reasons.
[ They aren't detailed reasons, but Joonghyuk gets it. There's no accusation or scolding in his tone. ]
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That's true. I don't need any excuses - I have simply made up my mind.
[ the amusement stays, even after that very shonen protagonist moment, there, and xie lian glances over at joonghyuk. ] ...you reminded me a bit of my former tutor, for a moment there. [ guoshi... ] Ah, what a sense of deja vu.
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[ shut up joonghyuk ]
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That's what he would say, too... [ his poor stressed guoshi ] He was very wise, maybe moreso than I ever was ready to listen to, even a few years ago. I know that, now.
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[ HMPH. ]
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[ ha ha... he sounds fond, though. ] Guoshi always had a lecture for me about something or other, every day, relevant or not. From bowing to the gods to sword techniques, to even how I wore my earrings in a parade costume...
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[ Which implies something about his own. ]
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And yours wasn't? That is hard to imagine! What was yours like...? Was it a master for the martial arts, or for moreso than that...?
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[ Says the man is short-tempered. ]
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I see! She must have been an incredible teacher, even still. Perhaps sometimes we could spar? I would like that. [ xie lian, known martial arts nerd.
anyway, ] Guoshi was...almost completely the opposite. Unendingly patient, and rare to share any details about himself, though... I suppose I didn't ask much. [ hm. ] I grew up under his tutelage, though. He had cultivated to immortality, as well.
[ a pause. ] Though, I only ever saw him become terribly impatient was when he would sneak off to play card games. Mostly because it seems he was terribly bad at them...?
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[ SUCKS TO SUCK -yoo joonghyuk. His wolf huffs. ]
In the end, what matters is that they can teach well.