[ he takes the tea cup gratefully, examining it for a moment out of sheer habit - looking for chips in the porcelain. of course there aren't any; would it even matter anymore? xie lian smiles a little further, though, and lets the cup warm his palms. ]
It is as you said. I'm angry, but - right now... after everything, I feel quite tired.
...Do you know, Mr. Nero - I had only just recently experienced a tragedy of my own. Before I came here, my entire life fell apart.
[ it feels easier to admit it than it normally is. somehow, being stuck in this endless cycle of trauma and suffering loosens your tongue. ] My kingdom was wiped out.
I thought to myself that perhaps things couldn't get any worse, then. Even coming here - I had hoped that perhaps I could do some good.
[ xie lian's hands squeeze around the cup. ]
...I think I have to hold onto what little good I have done here. No matter how small it is. I simply must hold onto those kinds of memories, the kind where a friend makes you a cup of tea after a long week, so that I don't have to believe all hope is lost.
[He gets it. Sometimes stress can make you share more than you usually do.
That's a different kind of stress on Xie Lian's shoulders than on Nero's. A whole kingdom wiped out and it was his. He can only imagine the kind of stress that puts a man under.
Nero's always been the kind of person who sticks it out until he can't do it anymore. Until he feels his heart starting to break from the pressure and the stress, and then he runs.
That's not the kind of advice anybody here can take. To stand there and to face it. To absorb the good that comes their way.
He's a pessimist, after all.]
... Hope isn't lost yet. You're still feelin', ain't ya? If you're angry- if you're tired, if you're still aware. It ain't over. Hope ain't dead.
So... cling onto those moments you got. Whenever you got them. Whatever can keep you going until the end.
somehow, hearing those words from nero - who has been through it - mean even more. xie lian looks down at the liquid in his cup, for a long, long moment, and then back up at nero, and when he does, there's a gentle smile on his face. ]
It is memories like these that keep me that way. [ he taps the cup, gently. the look on his face is sincere and warm. ] Thank you, Mr. Nero. Truly.
There's nothing I want more than to solve the mysteries of this place, and bring the last of this conflict crashing down, so no one else has to suffer the wrath of these accursed Angels. Not the Watchers, not any of these worlds we visit, and not us.
And I hope, too, no matter what happens, that you're able to find those good things and hold onto them, too.
[He knows very well how illsuited this kind of encouragement is from his mouth. These are the things Bradley would say. In his absence, here Nero is giving advice.
It's not the little good things that drive him forward. Its the burning desire to inflict his pain on the people who've hurt them. The Eastern wizards remember ever single slight that was ever done against them.
[ hey! xie lian doesn't know that! for the first time, though, he smiles in a way that looks a little less exhausted.
his smile is warm. ]
Mine is, too.
[ it means a lot. ] I am not so easily extinguished. I've seen all sorts of cruelties in my life - it simply means I must continue to fight against them with everything I have in me.
[He misses the wizard manor. He could do without a great portion of those people, but there is warmth there. A comfortable acceptance with the Eastern wizards.]
Keep... bein' stubborn then. Think we'll need it comin' up.
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[Also getting to scream about being on evidence lists was satisfying somehow.
With the water hot, he'll pour them both some tea.]
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[ xie lian gives a little bow of his head, and sets san lang back down, reaching for the cup with open hands. ]
...It has been an exhausting weekend, truly. [ god. ] An exhausting week.
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I can barely remember the start of the week. Feels like ages ago now.
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[ he takes the tea cup gratefully, examining it for a moment out of sheer habit - looking for chips in the porcelain. of course there aren't any; would it even matter anymore? xie lian smiles a little further, though, and lets the cup warm his palms. ]
It is as you said. I'm angry, but - right now... after everything, I feel quite tired.
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What a funny thing to miss. ]
After weeks and weeks of this tragedy, who isn't?
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[ ... ]
...Do you know, Mr. Nero - I had only just recently experienced a tragedy of my own. Before I came here, my entire life fell apart.
[ it feels easier to admit it than it normally is. somehow, being stuck in this endless cycle of trauma and suffering loosens your tongue. ] My kingdom was wiped out.
I thought to myself that perhaps things couldn't get any worse, then. Even coming here - I had hoped that perhaps I could do some good.
[ xie lian's hands squeeze around the cup. ]
...I think I have to hold onto what little good I have done here. No matter how small it is. I simply must hold onto those kinds of memories, the kind where a friend makes you a cup of tea after a long week, so that I don't have to believe all hope is lost.
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That's a different kind of stress on Xie Lian's shoulders than on Nero's. A whole kingdom wiped out and it was his. He can only imagine the kind of stress that puts a man under.
Nero's always been the kind of person who sticks it out until he can't do it anymore. Until he feels his heart starting to break from the pressure and the stress, and then he runs.
That's not the kind of advice anybody here can take. To stand there and to face it. To absorb the good that comes their way.
He's a pessimist, after all.]
... Hope isn't lost yet. You're still feelin', ain't ya? If you're angry- if you're tired, if you're still aware. It ain't over. Hope ain't dead.
So... cling onto those moments you got. Whenever you got them. Whatever can keep you going until the end.
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somehow, hearing those words from nero - who has been through it - mean even more. xie lian looks down at the liquid in his cup, for a long, long moment, and then back up at nero, and when he does, there's a gentle smile on his face. ]
It is memories like these that keep me that way. [ he taps the cup, gently. the look on his face is sincere and warm. ] Thank you, Mr. Nero. Truly.
There's nothing I want more than to solve the mysteries of this place, and bring the last of this conflict crashing down, so no one else has to suffer the wrath of these accursed Angels. Not the Watchers, not any of these worlds we visit, and not us.
And I hope, too, no matter what happens, that you're able to find those good things and hold onto them, too.
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It's not the little good things that drive him forward. Its the burning desire to inflict his pain on the people who've hurt them. The Eastern wizards remember ever single slight that was ever done against them.
Nero is no different.]
My memory's good. Don't worry about that.
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his smile is warm. ]
Mine is, too.
[ it means a lot. ] I am not so easily extinguished. I've seen all sorts of cruelties in my life - it simply means I must continue to fight against them with everything I have in me.
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Keep... bein' stubborn then. Think we'll need it comin' up.